“Write an erotic description of a young, skinny woman in a shopping mall.” I&a;ve given that instruction to my local decensored LLM quite a few times. But can I follow it myself? (Insert meme from I, Robot.)

Obviously, the first step is to imagine the woman in my mind&a;s eye. Let&a;s make the race black (on the dark end), just for some variety. We can add jeans shorts—low&h;waisted, but not necessarily tiny. Sneakers (white or black) are the default, and I don&a;t think I care enough about shoes in this context to even mention them. On the chest goes a crop top. Make it orange, I guess, and flimsy enough for the brassiere to be noticeable in bright light.

Speaking of the brassiere, what about breast size? I am too incompetent to imagine large breasts on a skinny woman without digging up a reference photograph from my hard drive, so small breasts it will have to be. The crop top exposes the arms, which are unadorned chocolatey goodness. For the head, the only good hairstyle for a black woman obviously is a short afro.

So, what do we have?

“A young, skinny woman of African descent is present in a shopping mall. A low&h;cut pair of jeans shorts shows off her lithe legs. An orange crop top exposes her chocolatey arms and midriff (with a hint of ribcage), and is flimsy enough for her modestly&h;sized brassiere to catch the sun when it shines through the mall&a;s skylight at the right angle. She reaches up and checks her short afro, to make sure that it has not deflated.”

Definitely not the most evocative passage in the world, and probably not worth the adjective “erotic”. But certainly not the least sexy description imaginable, either.